You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
