that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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