a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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