Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
