do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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