That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
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So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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