1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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