I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Welp...herpes.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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