ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
