I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
