I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
