Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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