My room smells like vodka and shame
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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