3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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