he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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