If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she smelled like a LAN party
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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