So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
