Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
