it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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