If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
