The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
