well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
