My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize