And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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