dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
