Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
