he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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