There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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