before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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