Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
