we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
