Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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