You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
