She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
