After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
