??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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