In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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