ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
