I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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