I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
