just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
