the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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