hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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