she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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