i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize