bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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