i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
