i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
