Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize