just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize