therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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