you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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