Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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