Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize