hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize