We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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