I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
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jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.