i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch