Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize