Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.