I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
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I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
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Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?