remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?