Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
