i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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